Things I do for love

I walked around our campus yesterday and stumbled across that exact bench. Flashbacks rolled in my mind and felt little pinches in my heart, or maybe not that little. But today, so far so good. I’m at Starbucks composing this blog while listening to my playlist and play-acting invisible to this loud customers. I do this to feign happiness, because the more I fake it, the more it’s supposed to feel true.

For the past few months, I've learned so much stuff about myself. I discovered the things I never imagined I'm capable of doing. I was carefree then. I am certain that love takes time until someone proved me wrong. That someone taught me that love has no time constraints. There is no time frame for when a person can fall in love with another, it just happens. It's spontaneous, unpredictable, it's timeless. And I mean it, it is one of the best feelings in the world up to everything I believe true shattered into pieces.

Year 2011 review

I can't imagine 2012 is just two sleeps away. Does this mean end of the world is near?

Twenty eleven has marked several highlights for me. On my last year as a teen (and still in denial), I have grown and learned from the experiences I have gotten myself into.

2011 has welcomed me with a big smile (with flying hearts on the side) but that smile misled me big time.

Got in 2 x more trouble this year, cried an ocean of tears, has been neglected, got into major depressions, lost a grandfather, and I was on the brink of death.

This year evolved me from a little girl to a woman. I was physically, mentally and emotionally challenged that change me as a person.

I thank God and my family so much for giving me the strength and courage to deal with all the hardships I have faced this year. Also, to my friends who didn't give up on my unending dramas.

God continuously proves that we will always be learning and we can never claim to know it all. We will always be running back to Him in times of crossroads and possibilities.

It has truly been a year to remember. 2011 hit us hard, especially to those who have loved and lost. Although we don't want to grow up too fast, a little growing up never hurt anybody. It's never supposed to be about regret of bad decisions or things left unsaid, but about gratefulness of the things that have happened and how it has helped us grown to be better.

Can't think of a title

I really can't! I've been staring at the screen for more than 10 minutes now. Anyway, this is just a blogful of ramblings.. basically everything that bothers me.

I've always been a fan of fairy tales. I grew up believing that happily ever after exists. Does forever exist? I guess not. It is like accepting Santa Claus as untrue when we're still small. At first it is painful but as time passes by, we all get used to it. I wonder how the young ones handle situations like that because they are deceived that the fat, bearded man is real. It was not easy that's why I envy their innocence and spirit. We all seek for happiness. We dig and search for that certain thing we believe will complete us but we never think of the risks and consequences it may cause.

Ika nga sa economics, there's no such thing as free lunch. I can say, it applies to all. Bawat bagay na gagawin mo ay may kapalit. Yun nga lang hindi palagi tama ang sukli. Madalas kulang, minsan naman sobra pero ang masama dito ay wala kang natanggap. Maiisahan ka talaga lalo na kung tatanga tanga ka. Matuto ka dapat magtira para sa sarili mo. May mga taong hindi marunong makuntento at walang isang salita kaya mag-ingat ka. Huwag maniwala sa matatamis na salita dahil kung gaano nila kadali sabihin yun, ganun din nila kadali gawing iwan ka. Oo, deadly pumasok sa isang relasyon. Kahit anong gawin mo, masasaktan at iiyak ka lang.

Don't get me wrong, I've been there but I'm not being vengeful or bitter. I loved to fall in love over again but not now. Knowing the things might happen, how they're supposed to come about is probably the most reliable way to avoid getting hurt as before. I learned a lot. When people walk away from us, let them go. Our destiny is never tied to anybody who leaves us and it doesn't mean they are "bad people". It's just that their part in our story is over.